April 22, 2004

 

Chapter 4 and a half 1/2. 

Top 12 Things Learned in the 12 Months Leading to the First Anniversary of The Legend of AFRODITE

 

This year has been different. At some times it was more than I could handle, and at other times it was less than I wanted to be handling. I seem to have a very cohesive existence: when things go well everything goes well and my entire life moves fast forward. And, of course, when things go bad, all hell breaks loose and I just have to wait for the devil to get bored  or Karma to get even, so I can get on with my life.

 

The funnies things are the saddest things… for example, I have no concrete idea how many CDs I’ve sold. Can you believe it? So organized. So versatile. So together. So polished. And she can’t count her own dang CD’s. Priorites: I was just trying to remember to keep the trunk full of them. But I do believe we are somewhere in the 1500s at this point… pretty good for someone who constantly said: I just want to put one out – I don’t care if it sells!

 

I did manage to sell 1000 copies of the new book though. But, of course, the only reason I know that is because I can seem to get any more books from my publisher because we sold out of the first run and I happen to know that the first run was a 1000. Mixed blessing there…

 

The website looks pretty much what I want it to look like. There’s a glitch here and there, but overall I think it’s pretty phizatt, if I do say so myself. You may be thinking ‘big hairy deal;’ afterall, ‘You are an engineer, JaH.’ Maybe. But I still made it myself. And it took 3 years to figure that out… so na-na-Na-nana.

 

And my blowout is back. I had to forsake the supa-fro for half a minute due to some split-end tragedy which led to a heart-wrenching uneven trim. *sniff* I’m still feeling the pain. But ‘la lady bush’ made her comeback last week and the fro is looking mighty fierce.

 

All right. Enough with that yabberin.’ Let’s come on with the come on!

 

Top 12 Things Learned in the 12 Months

Leading to the First Anniversary of The Legend of AFRODITE

 

 

  1. Samantha Raheem does not exist. aka  Do not make checks payable to JaHipster.

u ain’t supa-jiggy. u haven’t trademarked ur iznit, or gotten ur alter ego a tax id #. just a regula chick. u a down to earth heart-glow momma that just luvs to share. & u know this, but the people are in denial. they are booking plane tickets for u under aliases and writing checks Nation’s Bank is straight gigglin’ over while they refuse to give u ur $. it’s only funny after the fact.

 

  1. Try not to laugh out loud when promoters say the word ‘exposure.’

if i had a dime for everytime a promoter tried to sell me/book me/get over on me with some exposure, i wouldn’t need them to pay me becuz i’d be rich. chew on this: if u came looking for me becuz u heard of me, what does that say about my exposure? i’m not vain; i know the song ain’t about me. but i’m saying: exposure i got; can a sistah get some rent $ ?

 

  1. Good management is hard to find… especially if you are a control freak

when u wake up one morning and realize u’d rather turn down a gig cuz you can’t balance ur calendar rather than turn over a mailbox key cuz u can’t stand that thought of not reading ur own junk mail; you have issues. yea. i know. my bad.

 

  1. Good production is hard to find if you actually know what they are supposed to be capable of.

i am not going here again. just read ‘the indie life’ chapter 1. it’s gospel, yo.

 

  1. Audiences will look at you like they are doing you a favor, because they are doing you a favor.

i am from the DC area and we kill artists for this kind of foolishness. yes. i admit it: DC killed Al B. Sure. it is always an artists’ blessing to be in a room full of people who are willing to give them the time of day. we’re not talking mutual respect here; we’re talking ‘gift from God.’ get over it. if u don’t stay humble, audiences will humble u.

 

  1. Karma is cool, but still ask to get paid.

i do a lot of pro bono. and it pays off. usually as soon as i grit my teeth and take the gig for the school with no money, or the summer camp with no organization that i have to pay a grip of gas money just to get to, a nice easy well-paying gov’t or corporate shindig comes along and it all balances out. but still, ask to get paid. usually, u are not asking for yourself becuz if they haven’t planned to pay you, they probably can’t just whip some $ out the ying-yang. but they’ll know that they should have paid u, and they will pay the next artist after u. if i’ve said it once, i should have said it a thousand times: what’s the point of blazing a trail if no one can follow along behind u?

 

  1. Professionalism.

get some.

 

  1. Smile & Be nice dammit.

i get over a lot becuz folks are used to dealing with foul-mouthed, bad-attitude, primadonna-difficult gypsie artists. smile and mean it. keep ur voice low, and chill. relax. empathize. if it’s really that painful, it will be over soon. but contrary to popular belief, showing a lil’ teeth will get u more than showing a lil’ leg. and if it don’t, at least u can go home and sleep well know u didn’t show ur @$$.

 

  1. Write down everything you pray for.

becuz it will come to u. and the least we can do is remember it when it gets here. that whole thing about the universe/God working on his/her/its/their own time is truer than true. and chances are u will be happy when u get ur blessing regardless, but if it comes 4 years after the fact, will you remember? shoot… they way my life runs, if it comes 4 weeks after the fact, i may not remember. so write it down, and live in that extra little spot of joy that comes from the satisfaction of getting exactly what u asked for. (oh and if u accidentally ask for the wrong thing, then u can go back to the list and cross it off before exactly what u asked for comes knockin on ur door!)

 

  1. The 5thL does not and has never stood for ‘5 brothers on the Low’ – it was just coincidence  aka   Self-Determination

hey. i didn’t get it either. so i asked: how y’all gonna roll ‘two strong’ talking bout ‘5thL?’ apparently it’s a Wu-Tang thang… just RZA or all 28 of them fools rolling Earth Wind and Fire-type strong, it’s still Wu-Tang. so 2 or 20 it’s still the 5thL. the 5th is a force of nature and an arm of music – and dat’s who dey be. the moral of the story is: name urself what u want; be who u are; and rest of us will just have to get over it.

 

  1. Put your face on a bag.

i’m not sure the brothers can get away with this, but the sisters need to. what started out as a marketing ploy has become a trully affirming thing. on stage or off, it is hard to remember u are beautiful in a world that doesn’t celebrate ur beauty – and i’m not just talking about black women. it’s ruff out here. and on occasion, when i have to step out the house looking crazy (cuz, no i do not roll out of bed as ‘JaHipster’) and i’m carrying a bag or wearing a t-shirt, and somebody says ‘nice bag’ or ‘where can i get that shirt’ and they don’t even know it’s my picture,  it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. smile. we’re gorgeous.

 

  1. It’s not the band.

or the book cover. or the CD artwork. or the photoshoots. or the clothes. (well maybe it’s a little bit about the boots J ) it’s about me and the message i bring, and believe it or not i have a really hard time remembering that. this is by far the most important thing i have learned. i may create a fabulous show and maintain a scrupulous image, but that is not, nor will it ever be, why people want me to keep doing what i do. i have literally been so stressed out about extras like the band coming in on the right beat or shoes that match my shirt, that i have been in tears. i was so stressed at my first full concert appearance 8 months ago, that i missed the show – i mean, i was there, but i don’t remember it at all. i couldn’t even celebrate my own success. i finally had to sit down and write myself a letter last week. i had to remind me to get back to and accept the core, the blessing, the gift, the mission. don’t let the bright lights burn away ur truth. that’s the #1 thing i learned in the 12 months leading to the one year anniversary of The Legend of AFRODITE.

 

 

it’s as much ur anniversary as mine. so HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

and thank you for the support.

 

now go buy a t-shirt.

 

One,

jahipster